Hey! So Glad You're Here. Here is what I'm trying to do with OGT.
Introduction to OGT
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“Dad, we’ve heard that story before! MANY TIMES!”
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“Grandpa, we were there when it happened. You don’t have to tell us.”
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But somehow the Old Guy goes on to tell it again. Because Old Guys love to tell tales.
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Tales come from deep within the memory. Our memory doesn’t improve but our stories sure do.
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Before television and the ubiquitous “smart” phone, old men would gather and tell tales. Around the stove near the back at our country store, the old guys in their overalls sat in cane-bottom chairs sharing their lifetime of experiences. In the summertime they would be on the porch of the hardware store, leaning back on two legs of the wooden slatted chairs, telling what happened “one time”. At times they would gather the grandkids and begin a story with “when I was about your size. . . .” The checkerboard or the dominoes were just something to keep your hands busy while the tales unfolded. Or maybe it was whittling on a little stick, or sharpening an already razor sharp pocket knife, but the important part was the telling of tales.
Some of the yarns were told often enough that anyone of the guys could tell it as well as the guy claiming first hand experience. Grandkids would learn the saga well enough to pass it on to other grandkids.
The stories were a bit of history and a bit of creativity. There really was a big fish that broke the fishing pole, it just got bigger each time the story was told. There were heavy snows in the winter of ‘08. They just got deeper. There were floods and the torrent grew swifter and the roar louder. The details were added for flavor. The basic tale was there and rich seasoning was added.
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Sometimes the tale were very short. They might even be only a couple of sentences. Sometimes those couple of sentences were there as a teaser to dive into a much longer story. Sometimes there were stories within stories. They weren’t really chasing rabbits. It is just that the story needed a little more background to give greater impact to the reality.
One tale served to remind an old guy of another tale. “A similar thing happened to me.” served as an introduction to the new story. Sometimes it was one upmanship. “My deer had more points than a compass and this watch was hanging on the top one.” Most of the time, it is just a reminder of the other tale that needed to be told.
There were a special class of tales, the tall tales. They were told for the truth and the sincere teller would usually end by saying, “If this is not the truth, may I get run over by a herd of wild buffalo right now!” Some were one liners. “I remember the summer that was so hot, the corn started popping in the field and my mule thought it was snow froze to death.” Some were very long and elaborate but told as if the whole thing was the absolute truth.
The tales I have written here are from my memory.They are factual but some of the details may have been added to give the story a little more life. After all, a story that can’t be improved upon is hardly worth telling.
There may be a little chronological order, but my purpose is not to give my history but to share the tales. It is more like an unauthorized auto-biography of my life.
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Some of the tales are interesting, just in themselves. They would be worth listening to, regardless of who the narrator might be. Others may be interesting because they reflect who I am and the times and events that produced me. You will enjoy them more if you know me.
Old Guy’s Tales are shared for the enjoyment of the listener but, most of all, OGT are told for the enjoyment of the teller. The teller will get a kick out of telling the story again and again. It doesn’t really matter if the audience has heard it before because the joy is in the telling. If the listener enjoys it, that makes it extra special. If the listener doesn’t enjoy it, it doesn’t affect the teller’s joy of telling. If you’re not enjoying them, just remember, you’ll be old someday and you have your own tales to tell.
Maybe by writing these down, I won’t have to tell them so often. Maybe kids and grandkids and great grandkids will read them and thrill at the reading. Or maybe, it will only refresh my memory so that I’ll have more tales to tell.
So, enjoy them if you like. Or share them with someone else. It doesn’t really matter because I’m going to enjoy writing them down.
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Mahalo,
Bob Duffer